Dear BBC,
I’ve watched a lot of your natural history series, like Frozen Planet, Human Planet, and, of course, Planet Earth. I am writing to suggest that, for your next project, you apply your filming techniques and technology to kings: those kings, past and present who have ruled over subjects on “planet Earth.” Mostly those in the far past. I think you could score a major success with this series, and make some incredible TV in the process.
I think I can anticipate your main criticism: this show would not be specifically about nature. But you did Human Planet. If you think about it, this could actually end up more nature-y than that, because lots of the kings I am thinking of had extensive menageries and lived in very scenic places.
I guess the second thing is how expensive this would be. Well, there’s no doubt about that. But you also have to take into account how popular it would be. For instance, Downton Abbey has had a great deal of success, and these kings are far wealthier than the Downton Abbey family (at least relative to the rest of the population). Besides, this footage would be real! What’s better than the real thing?
You have to admit that it would be incredible.
As for the specific focus, I think you should do kings in the Middle Ages. They’ve always been the most interesting to me. Imagine getting footage of Charlemagne’s coronation. What did it actually look like? It would be extremely cool to know.
The people around the kings would be interesting as well. Take their whipping boys. A prince spent his entire childhood with his whipping boy, who would be punished in the prince’s stead if he misbehaved. If you focused on this, you could get some incredible footage of the young king (very cute to see), and also get a big emotional payoff when the prince (now king), makes the whipping boy a duke. But in the ceremony the priest is swinging around a little incense thing and the swingy noise makes the soon-to-be duke visibly nervous. He still fears the whip!
Or what about King Eric Bloodaxe the Fairhair’s skirmishes in the jarldom of Orkney, made famous by their description in Egil’s Saga? It’s safe to say that interest in these battles, with their dramatic action and picturesque settings, would not be confined to scholars of the Icelandic Sagas. The entertainment value would just be huge.
(In fact, in addition to the entertainment value, this series could be a field day for historians who study these periods. Some deep-pocketed institutions might even wish to chip in towards production costs.)
So, that’s about it. I’d love to help you make Planet Earth: Kings a reality in any way I can. Though I can’t exactly imagine where I’d fit in so for now I’ll just say: I look forward to it.
Thanks,
John
And feel free to disregard but I think a great way to end the series would be to do that really long zoom out camera thing you do, starting in the throne room and pulling out through amazing stained glass windows and treasuries and sentries playing cards in their tower and soon you’re outside the castle walls pulling back through the trees, and after a while you come to a stop at a giant, mossy boulder behind which a black bear is foraging for berries, and the castle is barely visible, and smoke rises from the primeval forest in patches – the fires of solitary hunters. I think that would be an awesome way to remind viewers that this show has it all, and it’s exactly these sorts of details that will make it a huge success.